Here's a few good marijuana dog names you can use

Here's a few good marijuana dog names you can use

So you got a dog — congrats! It’s a huge responsibility, but it’ll also be one of the most unique experiences of your life, having a living animal that cares for you all the time (and that makes messes you’ll sometimes have to clean up). But the toughest part of getting a dog sometimes is just naming it, and in this particular instance, you’ve gone looking on the internet for “marijuana dog names.” Worry not, kind traveler! The Elegant Stoner is here to help. Here are five tips for how to come up with a great dog (or cat! or hamster!) name based on cannabis, one of your favorite things.

1) Go with a real-life name that’s already there.

The easiest plan here is just to take a name that’s already sort of associated with pot, and then choose that. If you start at the casual, college dorm level of cannabis knowledge, you’ve got names like Jimi, Hendrix, Bob, and Marley. You’ve got Cheech or Chong, Tommy, or Marin. You’ve got Bill, Gates, Willie, Nelson, and Benson (after Doug). Hunter (S. Thompson) smoked a lot, and so (according to High Times) did Abe (Lincoln).

Or, you could go a little deeper. Dr. Raphael Mechoulam is the “Godfather of THC,” an Israeli scientist who identified both THC and CBD, and spent his life studying the plant — both of his names might be cool. Jack Herer is “the Emperor of Hemp” — he basically started the modern legal weed movement by publishing “The Emperor Wears No Clothes” in 1985, after opening a head shop in 1973 (and his name is attached to one of the best strains around). Steve DeAngelo worked with Herer, and Keith Stroup is the founder of NORML. We appreciate both of their work, but we can probably agree that DeAngelo might make a better dog name than Stroup — sorry Keith. Alice B. Toklas (four good names, if you count Bea or Bee) is famous for her edibles as well.

Of course, you could always go with Snoop if you wanted. That seems like a great Dogg’s name.

2) Call it by its name

If choosing a real, established name isn’t your thing, the next step would be to look at the names of the actual drug. And it has plenty: Weed, Pot, Cannabis, and Marijuana are pretty common. If you have a lady dog, you could name her Mary Jane. You could also throw a frisbee around with Reefer, Ganga, Dope, or Herb. It’s always fun taking Skunk or Blaze to the park. Broccoli, Burrito, Ashes, Indo, Dagga, Kif, Kaya, Mota, Muggles, and Pakalolo (that last one is supposedly Hawaiian) are fun too.

You’ve also got Nuggets, Hay, Homegrown, Sinsemilla, Colombo, Lid, Dimebag, Brick, Chronic, Grass, Buddha, Pottery, Bamba, Fu, Rasta, Gungeon, Canamo, KGB (Killer Green Bud), Devil’s Lettuce, Cheeba, Bash, Biggy, Tims, Tosca, and — here, just read the Wikipedia page. There’s no shortage of nicknames for Tea, Unotque, or just plain old Wacky Tobacky.

Our favorite is a term supposedly identified by the DEA: We’ve never heard it before, but you could always call your dog a “Smoochy Woochy Poochy.” Maybe you could call him that even if it’s not his name!

3) Straining for a great name?

As you can tell by our ongoing Strain Gauge column, there’s also no shortage of great strain names to choose from. There’s far too many to list here, but Leafly does a very good job of putting strain names together — they even have a good checklist of names to go after and smoke sometime during your life.

You could call your dog Afgoo, Berry White, Lavender, Schrom, Dirty Girl, Larry OG, Trainwreck, Gorilla, Tangie, Ingrid, or Zkittlez, for example (all pretty excellent strains, too). Chemdog seems like an obvious choice as well.

You could also get a little creative here — instead of Grandaddy Purple, you could call your dog Grandaddy Pup-le. Like puppy, get it? Maybe that’s not a great idea after all. Bowie Wowie instead of Maui Waui? Instead of Blue Dream, Bone Dreams? We’ll get back to you on that last one.

4) The gear’s got it

There’s also no shortage of names that could come from marijuana gear — you’ve got Bubbler, Grinder, Lighter, Sparky, Hempwick, Pipes, Ashtray (though that doesn’t seem very nice as a name), Glass, Papers, Rolling, cannagar, Blunt, Filters, and lots more.

You’ve also got brand names to play with — there’s Storz and Bickel, Flowermate, Arizer, Da Vinci, Firefly, Pax, and even Dynavap. Those might all make good pet names in a pinch.

And you’ve got farms and other companies to choose from as well: Humboldt, Mendocino, Canopy, Aurora, Sprott, Aphria, Los Suenos, Americann, Kannaswiss, Daya, Veritas, and more popping up all the time. We don’t really recommend you jump at the chance to promote the biggest companies making money off of cannabis so far (they don’t really need it all that much), but maybe one of those names from the modern business of cannabis could grab you.

5) Be a little sneaky.

The final option requires a little more thought on your part: You could come up with a name that doesn’t really mean cannabis or marijuana in a public sense, but that has a personal meaning to you. This includes names like Sparky, Pineapple, Cloud, Baker, Blitz, Buddy, Chief, Coney, Doobie, Fatty, Ounce, Puff, Zig (or Zag or Zip), Narnia, Munchie, Kermit, Roach, Roomba, Mozzer, and Simon are all options here.

Ok, we’ll admit some of those are a little more obscure than others (Kermit is green, get it?) and some are a little more obvious than others (your parents would probably roll their eyes at least if you named your dog Ounce), but the point is that the sky’s the limit. Your dog’s name is up to you — you want to choose something that’s unique, something that your dog can live up to, and something that will remind you of how much you care about your new puppy.

Whether you’re using little Pakalolo’s name to tell them you love them or screaming “Hempwick!” out into the night trying to find them at the park so you can go home, hopefully there’s a name somewhere on this list that works for you. Just be nice — Fatty and Ashtray aren’t really names we’d like to be called, and your dog probably wouldn’t like it either.

Good luck finding a great name that you and your dog can love together! And don’t forget to toss your buddy a pet CBD treat once in a while — little Sparky deserves to feel good, too.

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